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​She's the kid who has known what she wanted to do since high school. When her close friend went through a family tragedy and did not have access to therapy, a passion was sparked. Her friend's parents were Deaf and therefore could not find a therapist with whom to process their child's death. Why? Because few - if any - therapists in their area were fluent in American Sign Language. At age 15 she decided that was a problem she wanted to solve. Heide attended the only Deaf university in the world as a hearing person and obtained her graduate degree with honors.

Her passion to help marginalized populations only grew as she personally experienced postpartum depression and anxiety. She then leaned into learning about alternative relationship styles while living in the hub of polyamorous America. Heide's heart has always been invested in meeting the needs of underserved groups, and she loves offering non-judgmental access to positivity-based support.


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Crafting Trust in Polyamory - Emotional Alchemy

February 07, 20243 min read

“The proof of love is trust” - Dr. Joyce Brothers

Understanding Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships

Jealousy is often seen as a natural response to perceived threats to a relationship. In polyamory, where multiple romantic connections are acknowledged, jealousy can seem even more complex. It stems from various sources such as insecurity, fear of loss, and societal conditioning. To address jealousy, one must first understand its roots within themselves.

8 Reasons

Exploring the Roots of Jealousy

When we dig deep into jealousy, we often find unaddressed needs or unresolved past experiences. Understanding these triggers is the first step in transforming jealousy. For example, someone might feel jealous because they worry they are not enough for their partner. This can link back to low self-esteem or previous relationships where they felt undervalued.

Embracing Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is key in managing jealousy. EI involves being aware of, controlling, and expressing one's emotions, and handling interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. By embracing EI, individuals in polyamorous relationships can better understand their feelings of jealousy and navigate them constructively.

Cultivating Emotional Intelligence in Polyamory

Developing emotional intelligence is a continuous process. In the context of polyamory, it is about recognizing emotions, understanding them, and using that knowledge to foster trust and deepen connections.

Practical Steps for Developing Emotional Intelligence

To develop EI, one can start with self-reflection and mindfulness practices. Keeping a journal or meditating can help in acknowledging emotions without judgment. This awareness then makes it possible to approach situations with a level head.

Acknowledging and Understanding Emotions

Acknowledging emotions means noticing when you feel jealous and not pushing the feeling away. Understanding comes from asking yourself why you feel this way. Is it because of something happening now, or does it remind you of a past event?

Practicing Self-Awareness and Empathy

Self-awareness helps in recognizing personal patterns that trigger jealousy. Empathy allows us to understand our partners' perspectives. Together they form a powerful tool for handling complex emotions in polyamorous dynamics.

Managing Emotions and Responding to Others

Once you're aware of your emotions, you can choose how to respond to them. Instead of reacting out of jealousy, you can communicate your feelings calmly. This opens up a dialogue and can lead to greater understanding and intimacy.

Nurturing Trust and Openness

Trust and openness are the bedrock of any relationship, more so in polyamory. Building these requires ongoing effort and commitment to emotional honesty.

Anecdotes and Expert Insights

Stories from those who have navigated jealousy successfully can offer hope and strategies. Experts recommend regular check-ins with partners to maintain an open line of communication. These narratives reinforce the importance of transparency and mutual support.

Tips for Regular Emotional Check-Ins

Regular emotional check-ins with oneself and with partners help keep track of the emotional landscape of the relationship. These check-ins can be structured conversations where everyone shares their feelings and listens to others without judgment.

Creating Non-Judgmental Communication Spaces

Creating spaces where all partners feel safe to express themselves is crucial for non-judgmental communication. These spaces help prevent misunderstandings and foster a culture of honesty and respect.

If you are struggling with trust issues in your relationship - poly or conventional - we're here to help you!

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